Eight Avoidable Leadership FAILS

1. Changing things from Ego.  Why You Do it:  New leaders want to demonstrate their value and in an attempt to do so, often make radical changes as soon as they arrive. Don’t. No matter what. The Problem: When you do this, you discredit the entire team and all the work they did before you…

Managers & Overwhelm

Every manager I talk with these days is overwhelmed. It is the most common feeling I hear about. Too much work. Too little resources. Too little time. Feeling overwhelm for most of us shuts us down. This feeling actually makes us less productive. In the very moment when we say we want to be more…

Arguing is a Tease…

You think you can make your employees understand. You think when they push back, you should too. You think you can win. And prove. And … be ‘right’. What if none of that was necessary? It’s tempting to be drawn into an argument. To get them to agree with you. So we can all see…

Performance is NOT an Opinion

  The most valuable practice you can develop as a leader, when dealing with difficult employees, is to focus on facts not opinions. Notice what they DO or DON’T do, rather than the labels (lazy, rude, argumentative, know-it-all, etc.) you assign for their behavior. Practice today just noticing WHAT you observe rather than thinking you…

What Our Poor Performers Teach Us

Oh…. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone was just a rockstar and achieved all their goals? Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t actually have to coach or develop or address performance gaps? But, alas, this is the role of a leader. To build performance, not inherit it. When a player doesn’t perform we have…

Creating a Life vs Living a Life

 I’m 47 this year. I’ve had, what I believe to be, way too many conversations with my contemporaries of late, about how they WISH they’d done this… or that.. or hadn’t worried so much about (this or that). In my experience, many adults react to life, much like a pin ball reacts to the pins…

Justification

We often think we have to justify our anger or frustration. We think we need other people to know WHY we feel the way we do. Which of course means we want them to know how they or someone else caused our pain. And how they need to change to make us feel better. But…

Difficult People are Our Emotional Tough Mudder

Every weekend people participate in marathons, mud runs, cycle races, and other physical challenges. They train for months, sometimes years, to be ready for the challenge. Most motivational messages about success and goals use visual images of people doing challenging sports and activities. When we reference overcoming fear and difficulty and pain, we focus on…

Join Me at The Beach?

 Every year, I offer an intimate, exclusive coaching intensive on-the-beach for the women in my community. It’s call ‘She is Relentless’. To say the work we do together is powerful; while sitting on the beach, under the pines, on the nature preserve that surrounds the Turtle Bay Resort, is such an understatement. Some have gone so…

Difficult People Remedy: Don’t Waste it!

“Dealing with a difficult person is the ultimate stretch assignment.” So says my colleague and friend Sharon Huntsman. Man, is she right. We don’t knowingly sign up for dealing with difficult people at work. But they show up. When they do, we have a choice. Begrudge, hide, and avoid the situation. Blame them for being difficult…